Women Are Sharing The Absurd Lengths They Go To In Order To Feel Safe On The Subway — And It's Exhausting

 For women, jumping on the train to get from point A to point B isn’t as simple as knowing which station to hop off at. It involves doing a careful risk assessment of how to avoid a ride that will leave you traumatized. Which subway platforms are best avoided, even if it means walking farther, because they’re dimly lit? Where’s the best place to sit to avoid any creepers who may be on the train?

While not every transit ride is eventful, verbal harassment, sexual assault and general feelings of uneasiness due to other riders’ behaviors happen regularly enough for many women to have mixed feelings about their transit systems

In a survey conducted in 2018 by New York University’s Rudin Center for Transportation Policy and Management, 75% of women (compared to 47% of men) responded that they had been subject to harassment or theft on public transportation. Fifty-four percent of female respondents reported being concerned about being harassed while using public transportation, compared to only 20% of male respondents.

In Los Angeles, a 2022 report by LA Metro has revealed a drop in the number of women using its buses and trains, with almost 50% of those surveyed citing crime, sexual harassment and safety as their primary concerns.

Sofia DiStefano, a singer in Los Angeles, said multiple experiences on the LA Metro have left her worried for her safety. 

“I’ve had men follow me from [car to car], or bus to bus,” she said. “I’ve had men get angry at me for not acknowledging them. Touching my body like my leg or arm for attention and saying, ‘I just want to talk to you and tell you you’re beautiful.’” 

It’s ridiculous, because we all have the right to safe public transportation.Sofia DiStefano, a singer in Los Angeles who rides the LA Metro

What makes it worse is that many times, other male passengers have witnessed the harassment and said nothing. 

Subway harassment got so bad for DiStefano, she switched to just taking the bus since she can sit closer to the driver.

“It’s ridiculous, because we all have the right to safe public transportation,” she told HuffPost. 

Of course, this isn’t a uniquely American problem: Studies looking at public transit systems across the globe show that women are more hesitant to ride the train out of concerns for their safety. (Despite having women-only cars, the problem of harassment and gender violence persists in Mexico City’s metro.) 

But recent cases stateside serve as a reminder that riding the train as a woman here can be a frightening, even fatal, prospect: In late December, a woman was killed when a man intentionally set fire to her while she was sleeping on a New York City subway train. This week, a video went viral showing the fatal stabbing of Ukrainian refugee Iryna Zarutska on a light rail train in Charlotte, North Carolina.

Many have argued that access to safe public transportation systems is a basic human right. If that is the case, women’s experiences are far from equitable. We recently asked women to share the lengths they go to in order to protect themselves every time they ride, and it was revealing, to say the least. 

Trust your gut. 

“I know that one sounds silly, but my parents would tell me this all the time as a kid, and it has helped me so much. My dad would always tell me, ‘Trust your gut. If you walk into a place and something feels off, just leave. Your gut is never wrong.’

Some of my other learned experiences would be to always travel with a buddy, avoid traveling on public transportation after 10 p.m. alone, and wherever you are, you have to walk and talk confidently. I cannot stress that last one enough. No one wants to mess with someone who is aware of her surroundings or going to cause a scene. Lastly, if you have to cause a scene, then cause a scene. It could save you your life.” ―Rachel Ann Thomas, an actor and dancer in Chicago

Keep your head on a swivel. 

“Unfortunately, for women, we’re almost always required to be more attentive to our surroundings. Although we might want to get lost in our electrical devices or lost in thought, we always have to keep our head on the swivel and be aware of any issues that may come along. If I do have headphones in, I make sure that I’m not listening to music so loud that it’s blocking out noise or any signs that could potentially show me that there is trouble afoot.” ― Champagne Braswell, a 40-year-old from Columbus, Ohio 

Make sure any transfer hubs are well-lit. 

“As a singer, I’m often on late-night transit to and from gigs, and yes ― the ‘mental checklist’ is real. Just a few extra steps I take to feel safe include planning routes with transfers in well-lit, staffed stations; avoiding last trains when possible; carrying a small personal safety alarm and keeping gear consolidated and across my body. I also stand with my back to a wall whenever possible. 

It’s an emotional load to do all this while working late and traveling with equipment. When women have to calculate safety risks just to travel, it limits opportunities and freedom. Safety shouldn’t be negotiable. Public transportation is part of everyday life, and women deserve to feel protected and respected while using it. This is not just about mobility, it’s about equality.  ―  Kelda Williams, a singer known professionally as Keldamuzik from the Bay Area 

Be particular about where you sit. 

“I try to sit as close to an operator or driver as possible, either in a seat within eyesight or in the car where they’re driving a train. If I can’t get a single row seat, I usually sit on the outside seat to discourage men from sitting next to me unprompted ― though if it’s a busy car, I move over and yield the seat to anyone who needs to sit. In terms of picking what bus or train to take, at night, I will take whatever option I can get on the fastest, so I’m not standing alone at a bus stop at night, even if this means I have to walk a little further home.

In spite of all these considerations, I have never felt unsafe on public transit. When you’re riding the bus, you’re with other people, and you stop being scared of strangers. If I sit in the back or have a strange man giving me a problem, I know that the people around me have my back and that there’s a driver who can help. Shoutout to the Portland Trimet operators and drivers, who got me where I needed to be for two years!” ―  Suzy Liss, who lives in Portland, Oregon

Make sure you have a friend to share your location with on your phone. 

“Growing up in a big city like New York City, there have been several times where I haven’t felt safe, like when I got followed to my home. My first instinct was to go into a populated grocery store. I have so many subway safety tips now, I actually made a YouTube video about it.  A few tips? Share your location with a friend at all times, and if you’re in a neighborhood or city you’re not familiar with, have any directions screenshotted on your phone so you don’t look like a tourist constantly looking at your phone and in case you have a spotty signal.” ― Mohuya, a 27-year-old from New York City

Try to stick around a crowd. 

“Being from a small town with zero public transportation, when you first go on the train, there is a sense of excitement but also panic. My first train experience wasn’t until I was about 20 years old, going into Philadelphia. If you’ve ridden a train here, you might know there are some sketchy characters hiding in the shadows of the underground subway tunnels and on the train just like any other large city. I quickly learned to watch my front, back and both sides with increased precaution at all times. I’d also recommend carrying a weapon of choice ― think a Taser or pepper spray ― and have it prepared when walking alone. These days, if I am traveling solo, I stay near a group of people ― there’s power in numbers!” ―Alexandria Buscemi, a 29-year-old self-development speaker for women who lives in Philadelphia